SSS Staff Wipe the Court with Student Team

The current St. Stephen’s Duncraig Senior Boys Basketball team has proven that they are one of the most accomplished teams in SSS history. Their impressive win-loss record certainly supports this claim. However, last Thursday this team bit off more than it could chew when they foolishly decided to challenge the SSS Duncraig staff to a ‘friendly’ playoff.

After an exhaustive drafting process and extensive pre-season training regime, the SSS staff fielded an intimidating all-star line-up. It was a team that proceeded to systematically and mercilessly dismantle the hapless student side with their signature balance of experience and skill.

From the starting tip-off, the boys knew that they were in for a whipping.

Daniel Ramsey set the pace early on, penetrating the lane like a bullet train and draining more buckets than the Titanic bailing team. His sweet running play was complimented by resident bad boy Phil Timms’ dominant physical presence in the paint, providing the muscle for a potent inside game to match. Add to this the dead-eye outside accuracy of Anna Sargeant (who was shooting the lights out from deep) and the student side were forced to call a time out in an attempt to break the staff’s early momentum.

It was a futile call, however, as team captain Bronwyn “Magic” Hart dictated the play with sublime handling skills, snapping student ankles and pulling proverbial rabbits out of the hat with her dazzling array of look-away passes. Magic’s partner in the backcourt, Ellie Ormerod, started to get the hot hand herself by the end of the first half – blowtorching the J from all corners.

By halftime, the difference in the score was as broad as the average ages between the two teams.

It was more of the same in the second half. Greg Hatfield proved why he is known as “Mr. Triple-Double Trouble” with an MVP performance while Matt English showed that he has more moves than a bowlful of jelly. Hatfield-English truly is SSS’s answer to the NBA’s Curry-Durant combination.

Adam Merrifield was at his Swiss army knife best again this match – his full court hustle causing endless problems for the opponent backcourt. Simon Haydock’s patent brand of shake-and-bake offense once again was at the fore – the man known as “The Doctor” was diabolical with his dispensing of the pill all game.

By the time Karalyn Plummer sauntered onto the court late in the second half, the damage was already well-and-truly done. But “Kara-kazi” continued to put the game beyond doubt, because that’s just what elite professionals with a center’s height and a guard’s game do.

The SSS staff offered no mercy for the hapless students as they effectively rotated their bench.

“There was no escaping their onslaught,” bemoaned Christopher Wilson-Smith in a post-match interview. “Their defensive pressure was suffocating and their run-and-stun transitional offense was devastating. It was almost as if they had 7 players on the court towards the end of the game!”

“Their performance really was quite unbelievable,” stated Kyle Venables, who had great difficulty getting the ball in his hands. “You couldn’t dream up a more dominant game.”

With the 2017 exhibition game now in the record books, the SSS Staff can once again humbly return to the more mundane task of being educators. Until next year, when the students once more build the confidence to feebly challenge the reigning champions.

Rest assured, the staff will be ready.

Final Score

Students = $586 worth of official NBA apparel

Staff = Athletic shorts that pre-date to the ‘90s

Mr Damon Eaton

Media Teacher