A conclusion acts as a summary of the argument you established in your introduction (the thesis statement) and the ways in which you proved/sustained that argument (your topic sentences).

A generic structure for a conclusion might look a little bit like this:

1. Re-state your main argument. Look at your thesis statement and summarise what you were argument you were establishing in your introduction.
2. Summarise your key points. This will be the main arguments you established in the topic sentences of each body paragraph.
3. Offer a final thought/reflection in relation to both your argument and the question you responded to.

The final thought might be something like:

‘Of Mice and Men has lost none of its ability to provoke and challenge a reader to better understand what makes them thoroughly human.’

SO… in planning and preparation:

• Highlight your thesis statement
• Highlight your topic sentences

And build your conclusion around these key ideas.

Year 11 ATAR English Task 2 Syllabus Content

This is a really important document and you should use this to ensure you have covered all the key ideas from Unit 1.

Make sure you know:

• The context of the novella. It’s social/historical context.
• The purpose of the novella. Through the development of important ideas, how does Steinbeck communicate these to his readers?
• How might a contemporary reader respond to the dominant ideas in the text?
• What ideas does the text promote? Think about the notion of masculinity and male friendship groups, the notion of the outsider (racial segregation, Curley’s Wife etc.), the American Dream
• Have an understanding of specific stylistic features. The use of foreshadowing would be a good example, the use of dialogue to drive the narrative, the way Steinbeck begins each chapter with a description of setting.

Generic Marking Key Responding Task 2 Year 11 ATAR English 2025

It’s really important that you also understanding the attached marking key.

In particular:

• Highly relevant and well-chosen quotations.
• Perceptive analysis.
• Pertinent and consistent engagement with all aspects of the question.
• Tightly cohesive argument.
• Sharply focused thesis statement and topic sentences.
• Consistent and sophisticated argument.
• Subject terminology used accurately.
• Express ideas succinctly and accurately.

Your final mark will depend on the extent to which you demonstrate the competencies above.

Read your practice paragraphs carefully and use these dot-points as a check-list for your own self-reflection. Use these dot-points to identify areas of development also.

In this post, we will examine the structure of an EFFECTIVE body paragraph and how we can explicitly link our THESIS STATEMENT to a clear TOPIC SENTENCE.

Reminder of the Question

Discuss the representations of individuals or groups in at least one text you have studied has challenged or reinforced your understanding of a social issue.

Reminder of the THESIS STATEMENT from our Introduction

‘Of Mice and Men is a powerful text which tells of the trauma of racial segregation, which invites a contemporary reader to conclude our world still has progress to make in our journey towards racial equality.’

Body Paragraph Structure

1. Topic sentence- this should logically extend from the thesis statement and develop your argument in a clear and explicit manner.
2. Evidence- what quotations are you going to use to develop/prove your argument?
3. Why is this evidence significant/important and how does it support your argument? What does it show? How?
4. Link sentence which concludes the paragraph.

Sample Body Paragraph

It is primarily through the character of Crooks, the stable buck on the ranch, that Steinbeck is able to construct the voice of a marginalised black man. In Chapter Four, a reader is invited to see the depth of racial segregation in 1930s America. Alone in his room, his peace is shattered by the entrance of Lennie who asks Crooks why he isn’t ‘wanted’ in the bunkhouse, to live alongside the other men. It is Lennie’s childlike naivety which prompts Crooks to say that he ‘can’t play’ cards with the other men on account of his race. The emotiveless manner in which Crooks states this is confronting to a reader, who can clearly see the marginalisation of his life and the normalisation of his lived experience. As the conversation progresses, Crooks reveals something of his own childhood and how he became gradually aware of his own voicelessness. He remarks that if he says anything, that it is ‘just’ a black person saying it. Steinbeck’s use of ‘just’ as an adjective is revealing here because it shows how aware Crooks is of his lack of agency. Through the voice of Crooks, Steinbeck invites a contemporary reader to see the extent of both racial segregation and the marginalisation of black people.

Teaching and Learning Points

• I need you to look at the THESIS STATEMENT and the TOPIC SENTENCE and understand how they work together to establish a clear and explicit/logical argument.
• The TOPIC SENTENCE should logically extend the argument from the THESIS STATEMENT.
• Is the EVIDENCE given in the body paragraph relevant to the TOPIC SENTENCE?
• Is there an understanding of specific textual features? (voice, adjectives)
• Is there a personal engagement with the text that EXPLAINS the significance of the EVIDENCE?
• Is there a limit to the amount of plot/character summary?
• Does the final (LINK) sentence summarise the argument in the body paragraph?

Here is an annotated copy of the paragraph above with the TEEL structure written clearly on it.

Please make sure you understand the teaching and learning points from this lesson and that you practice them with your own body paragraphs.

Check in with your teacher to make sure you have consolidated this understanding.

Teaching and Learning Points:

• Note the reference to the SCSA glossaries. These can be found at:

Glossary of Key Words Used in the Formulation of Questions

https://senior-secondary.scsa.wa.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0017/1030157/Glossary-of-key-words-used-in-the-formulation-of-questions.pdf

Syllabus Glossary

The key words are found at the back of the document below.

https://senior-secondary.scsa.wa.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0015/1122117/English-ATAR-Year-11-Syllabus-for-teaching-from-January-2025_pdf.PDF

• You’ll also note that I’ve highlighted the KEY WORDS, particularly the word ‘discuss’ which is a COMMAND WORD. Make sure you identify the command words in your questions and ensure you understand what they’re asking you to do.
• You’ll also note that I highlighted the word ‘representations’. I looked this word up in the SCSA syllabus glossary and made sure I knew what this word meant BEFORE I attempted the question.

Sample Introduction

• This introduction uses the following structure:

Global Sentence

Introduce genre, text, author, date published

Overview of text/summary of plot relevant to the question

Dominant themes and ideas relevant to the question

Thesis statement- which should be focused and specific. Your response to the question

• The introduction above aims to use ALL of the key terms in the question to demonstrate to my examiner that I’ve read the question, that I’m exploring ALL the key terms of the question AND I understand what they mean.
• You’ll note words at the end like ‘powerful text’. Here I’ve used an adjective to sharpen my thesis statement by adding a value judgement to demonstrate my personal engagement with the text. I could’ve equally used ‘confronting’, ‘profound’ or ‘challenging’ to achieve the same effect. There are other examples in the introduction. See if you can find them.
• Note the key terms highlighted in the introduction.

Your turn. Use the example above to write your own introduction. Make sure you identify the structure and apply it to your own ideas.

Speak to me if you need a hand.

In today’s lesson, we explored how Murderball constructs and invites specific representations of groups of people.

Think about:

• How hyper masculinity and hegemonic masculinity are constructed by the text.
• Consider how the ‘chair stories’ invite a specific response  to the construction of masculinity though their risk-taking behaviour. Remember that Hogsett was thrown off a balcony during a fight, Zupan and Cohen were involved in car accidents.
• Consider what the text has to say about a rejection of an ableist society. Remember that ableism is the discrimination/prejudice against people who are disabled based on the belief that typical abilities are superior.
• Consider how the text rejects the ‘inspiration porn’ idea which we explored when we looked at Stella Young’s Ted Talk.
• Consider how the women in the documentary are constructed as subordinate. Zupan’s girlfriend could be consider something of a trophy/status symbol by the way she’s shot in her bikini and the way in which he physically subordinates her. Also the woman who is the ‘victim’ of the practical joke at the Olympics. Joe’s wife when they have their anniversary meal.
• Think about how Keith Cavill is constructed as vulnerable, weak, dependent and how his construction contrasts that of the athletes.

These are some of the dominant ideas constructed by the text. You may well think of some further ones.

Please note the modelled paragraph from today’s lesson and please note the teaching and learning points below:

• Note the first sentence acts as a thesis statement.
• There are SHORT and RELEVANT quotations used throughout.
• There is reference to specific language features and these have been used consistently throughout the response.
• The use of words like ‘reinforced’ and ‘further’ connect topic sentence 1 to topic sentence 2 and show how the response to the text is cohesive.

You are advised to use and to reflect on this structure in your own responses.

Please note the image above, which is the opening (exposition) to a narrative.

An effective exposition needs to:

• Establish setting
• Introduce the reader to the main character(s)- the protagonist
• Establish mood, tone
• Get the reader asking questions which draw them into the narrative
• Suggest potential conflict

SO… let’s look at the model above and what it tries to do:

• The opening sentence uses the verb ‘struggled’ to describe the sun. This could be considered personification but it suggests that the sun is having some degree of difficulty in rising. Is it winter? Does the narrative take place where it’s usually cold?
• The ‘craggy horizon’ suggests that the narrative is taking place in a mountain range or near a cliff. The adjective ‘craggy’ is doing a lot work here.
• The boys rise ‘gingerly’ to their feet. The adverb ‘gingerly’ evokes a sense that the boys are tired/exhausted or that they’re struggling. The reader is invited to ask why this might be the case. The adverb also echoes the struggling sun in the first sentence.
• The kestrel (a bird of prey and threatening in itself) is ‘perched malevolently’. The combination of verb and adverb is vaguely threatening.
• The ‘makeshift camp’ adds more context to where the boys are but we’re invited to question why they’re there. Why is it ‘makeshift’? It suggests they’ve not been there long, won’t stay long and are on their way to somewhere else? Why? Where? How?

In other words, there’s a lot going on in those few sentences, which set the tone for the narrative to sustain. Hopefully the reader would want to know more about the boys, their fate, the role of the ominous kestrel… We’re a couple of sentences in and we’re already into the world of the text.

When you write your narratives, aim to engage your reader as quickly as you can. Your eventual grade will depend on the quality of your exposition.

Please note the attached image, which is a deconstruction of the question in the middle.

I’ve used the SCSA syllabus (https://senior-secondary.scsa.wa.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0003/576705/English-Y12-Syllabus-AC-ATAR-GD.PDF) to help me deconstruct this question. Please refer to this document as much as possible in the run-up to your Semester and tACE examinations.

The question deconstruction is written in blue and the my thoughts in relation to the text are written in green. My ideas on what each body paragraph might contain are written in orange. Please note that there are multiple ways in which you might answer answer this question and these are only my thoughts.

You will also note that my annotations in green directly address the three key components of the question; the ways, the particular groups and the way in which those are presented in aa particular way.

Please note this blog post is based on an extract from Mother Says by Craig Ensor. The short story is attached.

Here is my response, which is incomplete:

Question:

How are language features used to construct the voice of the narrator in Text 1?

Through the use of powerful verbs and personification, the voice of the narrator in Text 1 is constructed as determined and focused.

The first sentence establishes the determination of the narrator, who is going to ‘pierce’ their ears. The verb here suggests pain which is contrasted in the next sentence by the assurance that they’ll ‘feel better’ about themselves as a result. The age of the narrator is perhaps revealed by the simile in which they describe the dots drawn on their ears as looking like ‘unsqueezed blackheads’ and their apprehension is further developed by the personification of the needle which ‘panics’ in their hand. Despite this reticence, Ensor continues to use powerful verbs to show the narrator’s determination. The needle is pushed through the earlobe and the flesh ‘tears’. This verb is significant for two reasons; firstly, it suggests the damage the narrator has done, but it also suggests the focus and determination to complete the process, despite the pain suggested by the language.

Here are my teaching and learning points and things to note:

• The first sentence acts as a thesis statement. It is short, concise and focused. It offers a direct response to the question and confirms I’ve read and understood it.
• Note the short quotations that have been used. There are several quotations and the longest one is two words. You will not be efficient in your exam if you are having to copy out large tracts of text. A short quotation also produces more focused analysis.
• There is very little plot narration. Assume that your examiner is familiar with the text.
• There is no repetition of ideas. I make a point and then move onto a different one. You will lose marks in your exam if you repeat yourself and summarise comments already made.
• There is reference to specific language features.
• The response attempts to link these language features to show how they all develop a central idea about the narrator.
• Note the use of the phrase ‘their apprehension is further developed’ which links one language feature with another.
• Note that I’ve also modelled how one language feature works on multiple levels. In other words, the text has layers of meaning. Always look for the potential that a language feature is doing more than one job.

• There are no hard and fast rules about structuring your responses;
• Some students choose to write a very brief introduction in the form of a thesis statement at the start. I would encourage you to do this because it helps focus your ideas into something that is cohesive and controlled;
• You are advised against writing a conclusion in a short answer response. As conclusions act as a summary, you won’t be rewarded for saying the same thing twice. You will actually lose marks for repetition.
• Usually, you would write one lengthy paragraph in which you LINK specific textual/visual features and demonstrate your comprehension of the text/image you are writing about. Some students choose to write two or three shorter paragraphs that split their response into several aspects. Either way is FINE as long as you write CLEARLY and SUCCINCTLY

Comprehending Mother Says

ANNOTATED Mother Says Extract

Year 12 ATAR English Semeste2 Examination Markers Report COLLATED

PLEASE note the feedback/marker’s report attached to this post.

It is vitally important that you ACT upon this feedback and engage with your class teacher as required.

Best wishes in your WACE examination.