• Need to be more discerning with the central narrative. In some responses, there were competing narratives which got in the way of the event you wanted to tell me about. Stick to one central narrative and get to it as quickly and as efficiently as possible.
• Don’t spend too long on the exposition of your response. You haven’t got time. I need to be there in the thick of the action as soon as possible. In some responses, the first page was spent setting the scene which meant there wasn’t enough time to tell me the things you really wanted to tell me.
• Guard against the generic, cliched and stereotypical imagery as this can detract from the authenticity of your voice. If an image is over-familiar, the reader might lose confidence in the control of your narrative. It becomes less interesting for them.
• Technical accuracy is important. Leave enough time to check for missing full stops, capital letters, question marks etc. Don’t use a comma where a full stop might work a lot better.
• Guard against changes in tense. Autobiographical texts are almost exclusively written in the past tense. In some responses, there were changes in tense within the response and this implies a lack of full control in the writing process.
• Some responses were brief. You will be expected to write something that is both controlled and sustained in your WACE examination so please be aware of this.
• Some responses were introspective and melancholic without much in the way of excitement and action. While this approach can work, be aware that your reader might demand more of your text than you actually deliver.
• If you write about sport, do so with an original voice and don’t make it sound like in-game commentary.
• The most effective responses had a clear and distinctly original voice that was sustained throughout the response.
• Sometimes setting was under-developed.
• Some responses used humour really effectively. Don’t be scared to be inventive either.
• Don’t overuse dialogue. When used effectively, it can enhance a narrative. When there’s too much of it (particularly where the dialogue is largely incidental), it can slow the narrative down and your response can get bogged down by it.
• Guard against predictable responses where the reader is able to signpost what happens early on in the response.
• Guard against writing about events which people know a lot about already, the AFL Grand Final for example. Most people know what happened so if you’re going to do so, you’re going to have to do it in a very quirky, unusual way.
• When writing about a place, try not to make it read like a Trip Advisor post or some kind of travelogue.
• Language is still powerful. Cherish the potential of words and don’t force the imagery when it’s not required. The most effective responses are those with precision of imagery and an economy of language.
• Be more selective in the content. Some of the stuff described in your responses could be considered largely irrelevant and incidental. You have to be judicious in what you include… and what you leave out.
• Don’t be repetitive with imagery/language. Don’t be repetitive with imagery/language. Don’t be repetitive with imagery/language.

Here is a link to a FANTASTIC resource which might prove useful in your podcast assessment. You will be given time in class to work on this, but it will only be a limited amount.

https://www.thepodcasthost.com/planning/how-to-start-a-podcast/

How to Start a Podcast in 18 Steps

1. Why are you Doing a Podcast?
2. Who is Your Podcast for?
3. Why Should they Listen?
4. Naming your Podcast
5. How Long Should an Episode be?
6. How Often Should I Release an Episode?
7. Choosing Good Episode Titles
8. Choosing a Podcast Format
9. Recording Equipment
10. Recording & Editing Software
11. Scripting your Show
12. How to Talk into a Mic
13. Recording Remote Guests or Co-Hosts
14. Editing your Podcast
15. Music for your Podcast
16. Creating Podcast Coverart
17. How to Publish your Podcast
18. Next Steps After you Launch

Here’s a version of the modelled example from our last lesson. As you can see, this version has been annotated to highlight the language selection and some of the literary features of the response.

Make sure you look at the annotations carefully as this will allow you to explore some of the ways in which the text has been constructed to invite a specific response from the reader.

Personal Writing

First Day at University

 As my step-dad’s car rumbled through the gates of my new home, taking care to avoid the groups of students huddled together, I could feel my heart slowly beginning to sink into the darkest recesses of my body. What should’ve been a celebration of being the first Jakeway to go to university, suddenly felt more like being dragged to the gallows. It didn’t feel right.

My fiancée grabbed my hand and her smile said something that faintly suggested she was trying (and failing) to reassure me that everything was going to be OK. My mother was busying herself with the occasion whilst trying not to give away her own sense of grief. It was certainly a morbidly chastening experience.

The university itself was bathed in sunshine and the chapel’s roof pointed to the sky, as if to say ‘the only way is up from here’. And a majestic sight it was too. It resembled a gilded crown, all glass and steel pointing to the heavens but at the moment all I felt was that it was crown that was far too big for my own head, like Macbeth’s ‘borrowed robes’. I’d always considered myself to be smart, but at the moment all I felt was a fraud.

The Students’ Union building was our intended destination. It was here that I was to be dropped off, deposited. Abandoned. Apparently the university had planned some of those tedious ice-breaking ‘games’ to welcome all the new, scarf-wearing undergraduates to Canterbury Christ Church College, to soften the blow. I looked into the faces of those gathered around me and many of them seemed more ‘up for it’ than I was. Even at 23, I felt I was too old for this kind of nonsense but I sauntered into the room nonetheless and struggled to get my bearings over the mic-wielding MC who was struggling to establish a carnival atmosphere.

However, it was time to say goodbye to my mother, step-dad and fiancée. As we shared our last hugs, they turned and walked out of the door. I tried unsuccessfully to stifle the tears that demanded to make themselves known to everyone and I trudged reluctantly towards the margins of bar where the Freshers Week was taking place. As the tears continued, suddenly I was four again, and this was my primary school, and I was all alone, and scared. A stranger in a strange town, where no-one knew me or even cared.

Teaching and Learning Points:

• I have no idea if this is how things happened. There is a kernel of truth in there (I really did cry!) but I have little recollection of the precise order of things. This is how I IMAGINED the memory, what I would LIKE it to look like.
• I’ve tried to create a strong sense of mood, the anticipation of going to university is contrasted with the fear, the reluctance, the sense of loss, of being alone.
• I come across as a bit cynical in places but I also wanted to capture the very different moods/emotions I was faced with.
• I try and describe the setting but I don’t allow it to dominate the piece.
• Look at the selection of vocabulary used. the car ‘rumbled’, I ‘stifle’ a tear, I ‘sauntered’ into the room. These words, for example, do a lot of heavy lifting.
• This is meant to be entertaining, though not particularly humorous.

What does your memory look like on the page?