Please note this blog post is based on an extract from Mother Says by Craig Ensor. The short story is attached.

Here is my response, which is incomplete:

Question:

How are language features used to construct the voice of the narrator in Text 1?

Through the use of powerful verbs and personification, the voice of the narrator in Text 1 is constructed as determined and focused.

The first sentence establishes the determination of the narrator, who is going to ‘pierce’ their ears. The verb here suggests pain which is contrasted in the next sentence by the assurance that they’ll ‘feel better’ about themselves as a result. The age of the narrator is perhaps revealed by the simile in which they describe the dots drawn on their ears as looking like ‘unsqueezed blackheads’ and their apprehension is further developed by the personification of the needle which ‘panics’ in their hand. Despite this reticence, Ensor continues to use powerful verbs to show the narrator’s determination. The needle is pushed through the earlobe and the flesh ‘tears’. This verb is significant for two reasons; firstly, it suggests the damage the narrator has done, but it also suggests the focus and determination to complete the process, despite the pain suggested by the language.

Here are my teaching and learning points and things to note:

• The first sentence acts as a thesis statement. It is short, concise and focused. It offers a direct response to the question and confirms I’ve read and understood it.
• Note the short quotations that have been used. There are several quotations and the longest one is two words. You will not be efficient in your exam if you are having to copy out large tracts of text. A short quotation also produces more focused analysis.
• There is very little plot narration. Assume that your examiner is familiar with the text.
• There is no repetition of ideas. I make a point and then move onto a different one. You will lose marks in your exam if you repeat yourself and summarise comments already made.
• There is reference to specific language features.
• The response attempts to link these language features to show how they all develop a central idea about the narrator.
• Note the use of the phrase ‘their apprehension is further developed’ which links one language feature with another.
• Note that I’ve also modelled how one language feature works on multiple levels. In other words, the text has layers of meaning. Always look for the potential that a language feature is doing more than one job.

• There are no hard and fast rules about structuring your responses;
• Some students choose to write a very brief introduction in the form of a thesis statement at the start. I would encourage you to do this because it helps focus your ideas into something that is cohesive and controlled;
• You are advised against writing a conclusion in a short answer response. As conclusions act as a summary, you won’t be rewarded for saying the same thing twice. You will actually lose marks for repetition.
• Usually, you would write one lengthy paragraph in which you LINK specific textual/visual features and demonstrate your comprehension of the text/image you are writing about. Some students choose to write two or three shorter paragraphs that split their response into several aspects. Either way is FINE as long as you write CLEARLY and SUCCINCTLY

Comprehending Mother Says

ANNOTATED Mother Says Extract

Year 12 ATAR English Semeste2 Examination Markers Report COLLATED

PLEASE note the feedback/marker’s report attached to this post.

It is vitally important that you ACT upon this feedback and engage with your class teacher as required.

Best wishes in your WACE examination.

Please note the image above, which deconstructs a Responding Section question using The Road as the ‘one studied text’.

My teaching and learning points:

1. Note the SCSA glossary terms (written in red) branching out from the question. These are taken from the ATAR English glossary which is at the back of the syllabus. There is an expectation that you are familiar with these terms.
2. Note the generic glossary term (written in green). This document contains important information about the meaning of trigger words in questions.
3. On the left and right are references to specific places in The Road, broken down into quotations and then language choices/language features.
4. I’ve written ‘BP1’ etc. to indicate what the structure of the extended response might look like.
5. There is a sample thesis statement at the top of each place. While this might need working on, it does show how you can use question deconstructing and planning to formulate thesis statements.

Remember there is a link to the syllabus on the cover page of SEQTA.

Death and Violence in The Road

dreams and memories

survival and perserverance

The Road – Themes (Familial Love) (1)

Year 12 Task 4 Feedback

Above is a link to a document which provides you with detailed feedback on your most recent assessment. Please read this document carefully and act upon the advice given.

This will also be uploaded to SEQTA as well.

As with all things, please see your teacher for further guidance and ensure you read the comments written on your work very carefully.

Please note the attached image, which deconstructs a Responding Section question in relation to Murderball.

While this isn’t the ONLY argument that could be promoted by the question, it was constructed using what I thought would be an EFFECTIVE argument by focussing on the character of Mark Zupan.

Please note the colour-coding here. The writing in red refers to the SCSA glossaries (the generic question one is attached to this post at the bottom). You MUST make yourself familiar with this glossary as well as the one at the back of the syllabus. A link to this document can be found on the cover page of SEQTA. The writing in green is the text-specific text deconstruction. I’ve also written in red what the HOW of the question is asking you to do.

There is NO expectation that you would be able to plan/deconstruct questions like this in your examination. It would take too long. The teaching and learning points here are pretty simple; know your SCSA glossaries, know your text well, evaluate the available evidence and use this to construct your argument.

And… practice, practice, practice…

Key Words Glossary SCSA

Formative Feedback Year 12 ATAR English Task 1 2021

Please use the attached document to prepare effectively for your first assessment in Year 12 ATAR English. This document also contains an effective/successful response which has been reproduced from the Good Answers (2019) guide produced by the ETAWA.

Thought you might like this resource, just to remind you of some common principles regarding extended response structure.

Let’s look at the introduction…

1. Global sentence deals with the issue of the question and text in the broadest possible terms. It there to simply engage the reader.
2. Introduce text. Make sure you include genre, title, author/producer, when it was released/produced.
3. Keep any plot overview at a minimum. No more than two sentences.
4. Key ideas you’re going to explore in your extended response. Key concepts.
5. Thesis statement.

Let’s think about what an effective thesis statement should look like:

1. It should be a direct response to the question.
2. It should establish a clear argument.
3. It is written as a statement.
4. Is as focused as possible.

So… How does that translate into your body paragraphs?

Well… Body Paragraph 1 should contain your STRONGEST argument.

1. The topic sentence should be text-specific and establish a clear argument and link explicitly to your thesis statement.
2. This is important because your examiner will want to see that you can establish and maintain a cohesive argument, rather than your extended response being a collection of unrelated observations on the text you’re writing about.
3. Your evidence should be short, it should be relevant and it should do more than just summarise content.
4. When you use quotations/evidence, you need to ensure that you show why they are significant, why they’re important.

The Body Paragraphs should ALSO address the HOW of the question. This might be the conventions of the text type, SWAT codes, language features… that kind of thing.

Finally, you need a sentence at the end of the your body paragraph which links back to the topic sentence and summarises your argument.

All you then need to do is repeat the process for Body Paragraph 2 and Body Paragraph 3.

But, I hear you ask, what do I write for my conclusion.

Well… a conclusion is merely a summary of your argument, it is a synthesis of the points you’ve raised and a final reflection. Read your thesis statement and your topic sentences. If you’ve done your job properly, these should contain the main points of your central argument. If you’ve not written an effective thesis statement, and your topic sentences don’t establish an argument (or a development of your thesis statement), then you don’t have an argument to conclude anyway!

The final sentence of your conclusion should be something that is thought-provoking, summative and crystallises the argument you’ve proposed.

Hopefully this all makes sense!

Year 12 ATAR English Semester 2 2020 Markers Report COLLATED

Please note the attachment above. This is your Semester 2 examination report. It has also been uploaded to SEQTA and placed on the cover page for your course.

Please use the information contained in this document to reflect on your performance, to set targets and to consolidate the many effective things you did in your Semester 2 examination.

As ever, please engage with your class teacher should you have any questions.

On behalf of the English Department, I would like to wish you all well for your forthcoming examinations.

Please note the screenshot below which deconstructs a question on ‘The Road’

Things to consider:

• The question is located in the centre of the image. It asks the candidate to explore how the text was constructed/generic conventions to position a response to a particular issue.
• I wanted to deconstruct the question and identify the key discriminators before going any further. Please note that the assessment criteria refers to engagement with the question, so we need to understand what the question is asking of us before we begin planning.
• The question refers to ‘generic conventions’ so I listed a few of these, though the list is not exhaustive/definitive. I simply listed the ones that are perhaps most relevant to a discussion of ‘The Road’.
• I then listed what ‘issues’ the text promotes. It would be best to write about the issues which affected you most so that you’re writing from a position of integrity. You are advised going into any assessment armed with what YOU know about the text rather than trying to remember what a teacher told you on a wintery afternoon or what you read in a study guide while you were revising.
• I then constructed my thesis statement around these ideas.
• This then lead to me reflecting on what extracts from the text would BEST exemplify the thesis statement I’d just written.
• I then applied the generic conventions to these and linked them back to the question itself.

The extended response is now planned and ready to be written.

Think about this as a process. Get your thinking in the right order and you won’t go far wrong.

Hope this makes sense.