Here is an example of the opening of piece of narrative writing. Make sure you read the text carefully AND the annotations in red.

 

Here are my teaching and learning points:

 

• I SHOW my reader the time of day but I don’t TELL them.
• I give SOME information about my persona but I’ve not said a great deal as I want the reader to ask themselves some questions as to who is telling them the story.
• I describe setting and create a mood of calmness but also loneliness.
• I introduce the theme of loneliness and isolation.
• I hint at there being a language barrier.
• I imply that the person telling the story has recently arrived in Australia but I don’t TELL the reader that.
• I establish a contrast between where the persona is from and where they are living now.

 

Hopefully the reader will want to know, by reading on, if:

 

• The persona DOES learn the language and becomes more familiar with life in Australia.
• Whether their isolation is permanent or temporary.
• Where they are from and the reasons for moving to Australia.
• What other challenges they may face.

 

Keep in mind that you are writing something that will engage and entertain your reader and you need to keep them in mind while you’re writing.